What made you stop being an addict?

Do I wake up everyday with lots of energy? No but that's because I have a health problem, which is a story for another day.

I didn't even start counting the days because I didn't really believe I would get this far.

Remember, if nothing changes, nothing changes.

Is 2 months enough for optimum learning time in meta ads? I'm still not getting the sales at the rate I want?

There were times I could go 3 months without watching p*rn or masturbating but somehow I always came back to it.

All I knew was that, I couldn't masturbate without p*rn. I was first getting the urge to watch p*rn, while watching, I would now feel like masturbating.

I remember sitting on the bed and smiling and that was when it hit me that I have successfully masturbated.

Do you believe that Jesus was God on Earth?

I remember I once did it in my classroom at dawn. I did it in the hospital's washrooms. I did it in the lab where I work; both daytime and midnight.

A couple of months later I started hating it and regretting after every session. Yet, I couldn't stop.

It didn't feel great after ejaculating but hey, who cares about feelings?

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Now how do you quit your addiction?

But how was I going to do it when everything I knew wasn't working? I didn't know

I made sure I downloaded every video that was nice for me. This took almost the whole day.

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I know some people masturbate and they don't have the problems I went through.

Am I totally free? I don't know 😕

I always wished they would sit inappropriately or the wind would blow up their dress so I can see things.

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I got tired of always breaking the promises I made to myself.

I started rubbing it and I liked how I was feeling so I kept on doing it faster and EUREKA, sperms came out of my dick.

I went there early in the morning trying to watch a movie and I found the CD inside the video player so I decided to watch what was on it and that was the beginning of the life I never wanted.

Why didn't Taylor Swift do Taylor Swift (Taylors version)?

Oh, and everyday I woke up tired 😫 I never slept early too. My mental health was nothing to write home about.

I went on my favourite site and started scrolling through my favourite categories; petite girls, sleeping girls, Japanese girls, Japanese mom, Japanese wife, massage, forced, in the bus, gangb*ng, Muslim girls, ebony, student and teacher, in the classroom, curvy, African, etc

I don't know if all addictions are like this 🤔

How can I navigate a romantic relationship as a trans person, and what are some common challenges that I might face?

Read that again ☝️

This was February 2019.

There were times I was counting the days when I'm clean. But now I don't, because I got tired of counting and relapsing and starting all over again.

Why isn't bestiality illegal in most states? If children can't consent, then animals DEFINITELY can't consent. Why is being a pedophile a crime but zoophilia is not?

I did it in my room. I did it in my washroom. I did it in school in the washrooms.

The harder I tried, the worse it became. I could get angry with myself and go about 3 days without it but when I relapse, I can do 3 in a day. And the subsequent days; it's just me getting drowned in the rabbit hole.

And I DID IT EVERYDAY

It is day 42 of the Trump administration. Is the war in Ukraine over? Is inflation solved? Are groceries cheaper?

Is masturbation and p*rn bad?

I knew about masturbation but I didn't actually think of doing it but one day, on my bed when I was preparing to go to school I was watching pornography and something just came in mind; why don't you rob your dick with your hand?

I saw every girl or woman as a sex object including kid girls. There was no way I would look at a woman and not think of f*cking her.

Since the Brits can't steer their oil tanker, what makes them think they can take on Russia?

I secretly kept on watching and watching until I got 19. At this time, I had started feeling the urge to ejaculate as I was watching the pornography.

And these were just the act and not the mental and social problems associated with addiction.

I just finished watching the best of the best p*rn videos on the planet. Now there's nothing else to look for on p*rn sites again.

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Just keep trying

So all I had to do was to find a way to trick my dirty brain to think that p*rn isn't nice.

Now I don't wait to be talked to before I respond. I talk when I think I'm supposed to.

Why are Christians quick to say that there are a lot the gay Christians that exist NOW and use that to pretend that Christianity is just loving to gays when the last 40 years of my life they been horrible?

Now I know I have all the nice videos on my phone, the rest I don't have, are not nice. So I had to start watching them one after the other. Some of them were even 2 hours long but I made sure I watched every little bit of it.

So I'm still hanging on this lie.

Was quitting worth the effort? At least for my mental health, it's a billion times worth it.

It took me days to finish watching them. Finally I decided to go to the washroom to do The Last Fap.

Now I have the mental fortitude to face life's every day battles.

I did it while watching my sister. I did it while touching my sister 😭 I did it while watching my landlord's daughter.

I so badly wanted to f*uk a girl, yet I was so shy of girls. I never wanted to meet anyone. I always wanted to hide behind the phone and text.

I did it in my administrator's office.

I knew something had to be done about my wasting existence because if nothing changes, then nothing changes.

And I can also talk to them now.

Have I stopped seeing girls as sex objects? Not entirely, I still want to f*ck some of them.

So I thought had unlocked a new potential in life. I was doing it even if I don't feel the urge. I forced the urge to come by watching pornography.

RUN 🏃‍♂️ for your dear life

But for me, I would say RUN away from it

Around age 9 I discovered pornography through my uncle, he had left the CD in the video player in the night after enjoying himself.

No self esteem. No confidence. No ambition. Just dreams.